now playing {on repeat in my car}

Remember when I made the switch to primary songs/church music in the car because little ears pick up on EVERYTHING?! Well, my selection was getting a bit tired. Enter my new favorite Christmas gift. I love EVERY.SINGLE.SONG. To me, there is nothing better or more uplifting than simple, lovely, well arranged, beautifully sung hymns.

listen to clips/download/buy album HERE.

my heart is full

Tonight, the girls were trying desperately to satisfy their sweet tooth after dinner. I was making brownies for dessert, but they were not being very patient while we waited for them to bake. They wanted to lick the mixer spoons, the bowl, and eat chocolate chips out of the bag. After asking over and over with the answer consistently being NO, Avery got frustrated and screamed at me. I just gave her the "oh, no you didn't" look and she ran into her room (and everyone wonders where my girls get their dirty looks- they learned from the best). We all assumed she went in there to cry and throw a fit. About 5 minutes later, she came back into the kitchen with a smile on her face. She said "I just prayed to Heavenly Father to help me make good choices." Wow. That is not what I was expecting to hear and it completely melted me. I had been so agitated by the interaction we had, but all that went away instantly as I felt the sweet comfort of the spirit wash over me. I hugged her tight and just breathed in the moment. What a joy it is that she is coming to know for herself where she can turn for help- and exercising the faith to call on our Heavenly Father in prayer. My heart is full.

there is nothing i would rather do

I am in the throws of life with a newborn (I am currently covered in spit up, remnants of a blow-out, and urine ...Emerson peed all over me as I was getting her out of the bath which I gave her after the aforementioned blow-out). Life is a little crazy. The older 2 (especially Avery) have been climbing the walls and driving me bananas. They constantly want to hold the baby, be in her face, wake her up when she is sleeping, and just be wherever she is (which is usually on me). As difficult as this time is, I am reminded by one of my favorite quotes by President Thomas S. Monson, that it goes by in an instant.

"Be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly."-Thomas S. Monson

I know I WILL look back at this time, all too soon, wishing it would have lasted. Wishing they would stay little, WANTING to cuddle, saying cute things, laughing out loud, chasing each other through the house, climbing the walls, demanding attention, making messes everywhere, and creating mounds of laundry for me to do. I TRY to keep that in mind as I go through my days in a fog from lack of sleep, as I strive to stay on top of everything (even though lately it feels like I am doing all I can to make sure the children are alive and the house is still standing at the end of the day), and as I am pulled in a dozen different directions by multiple sets of little hands, requests, whimpers, and cries. Some days I am more successful at keeping things in perspective than other days. However, even on the very worst of days, I am so grateful for the blessing and opportunity to be a mother... to be THEIR mother... to be entrusted with these three beautiful little girls and their uniquely individual spirits. There is nothing I would rather be doing than being home with them (pulling my hair out at times), caring for them, loving them, teaching them, and watching them grow.

This mother's day I am so grateful for my own mother who (even in spite of less than ideal conditions/situations) made sure we knew we were so very loved and that we were always most important in her eyes-ahead of work or any other obligations. I hope I can give own children that same assurance. NOTHING is more important to me than their safety, happiness, and well-being.

I am also grateful for all of the grandmothers (Gramma Lee, Ya Ya, Nonni) and other women in my life (Tiffany, Mary, Mary, and wonderful friends) who are an example to me, that love my children, and will help me in my effort to raise strong, loving, capable women.

To all of you I wish you a very Happy Mother's Day!

a quiet easter

We were on the mend from the never-ending cold/flu attack, Paul had been working until midnight every night all week, he also had to prepare a talk for church, and I have been feeling very, very pregnant.... so, we went low key on easter this year.

We did go to an easter egg hunt at the Jones house on Saturday. I took the girls by myself while Paul finished up his talk. Avery was stuck like glue to my side and Finley could care less about finding eggs- she just wanted to play in the sand and with the water toys in the fountain, but it was fun to get out. Gilen put on a great activity!

We did not do a egg hunt at the house, but the bunny did come and leave baskets for the girls- he went with a spring, gardening, flower theme. He must have known we are in the process of starting our landscaping (FINALLY!!). Garden tools, the cutest kid sized garden gloves (which were Finley's favorite thing- she calls them her "glubs"... I get a little giggle out of it every time she says it), a couple of books, Barbie Thumbelina toys, and the corresponding DVD rounded out the loot.

Paul gave a great talk at church (or so I hear- Finley got restless and LOUD right when he started speaking, so I had to take her out). After church, we managed to take get a few pictures of the girls in their easter outfits (in spite of the crazy wind). Then we went to Grandma Lee and Pa's for dinner and Grandma's famous fudge eggs.

It was a quiet but good day. A day, a season to reflect on the sacrifice of the Savior. HERE is a wonderful talk given by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland in General Conference on the subject.

project 31 birth days

To celebrate her 31st birthday, my dear friend Kelly McCaleb is lauching....

a service project to put together 31 newborn kits to donate to the LDS humanitarian aid center for distribution to new mothers and babies in need around the world. I LOVE this idea. What an amazing way to celebrate a birthday- by helping make another's birth day a little bit better and help new moms wrap newborn babies in cozy blankets instead of newspapers (the thought of that just kills me). Kelly is looking for people to help collect and send her the items needed for the newborn kits.

Each kit needs to include:

You can find more details and specifications HERE.

1 double receiving blanket (see receiving blanket guidelines at link above)
4 flat fold (single thickness) cloth diapers (100% cotton Birdseye Cloth or 100% cotton diaper flannel), approximately 25". Please do not use pre-folded or disposable diapers.
4 diaper safety pins
1 pair booties or baby socks
2 regular-size bars of soap (Ivory or other non-allergenic brand)
1 newborn layette gown (please, no footed sleepers- see guidelines at link above)

Kelly is also wanting to include a handmade quilt in each kit as well, so she is needing flannel fabric and batting donations to accomplish this part of it. She says she will do all the sewing, but I am sure she wouldn't mind some help with this too?!

It is part of my 2009 goals to heed the call to service more often and more readily. So, the call came and I figure this is a good way to start. I am on board to help her collect items for her to use in the kits. If anyone else wants to help me, help her with this project, let me know and we can put together one package together to send off to her. You can also visit Kelly HERE to leave a comment, or email her directly at kellymccaleb@hotmail.com.

“All about us there are many who are in need of help and who are deserving of rescue. Our mission in life, as followers of the Lord Jesus Christ, must be a mission of saving. There are the homeless, the hungry, the destitute.”

President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Our Mission of Saving,” Ensign, Nov. 1991, 59

i am so thankful for...

• my family and the fun we have when we are together
  
  
• the fact that my girls have awesome grandmas, grandpas, aunts and uncles in their life.
• my girls and the way they help me remember the simple pleasures of life (like playing in a pile of fall leaves, or sitting in the doorway just watching the rain come down, dancing to any and all music they hear, laughter, giggles, and snuggles just to name a few).
• our newest addition on the way- girl or boy (we will find out next thursday and I am very excited).
  
• the fact that I am about 1/2 way through this pregnancy and I am finally starting to have relief from the constant "all-day" sickness.
• modern medicine that has helped me have these beautiful children I longed so desperately for.
• my sweet husband and all the hard work he puts forth for our family and the wonderful daddy that he is to our girls.
• the blessing and gift (as well as hard work) it is to stay home with my children.
  
• the opportunity I have had lately to be so very busy doing something I absolutely LOVE.
  
• the freedoms we enjoy in this country.
  
• the great love of my Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ
  
• good friends
  
• visits with extended family.
• satsuma mandarin orange season (and the fact that my girls will trade in their lollipops for oranges without a second thought- they really are that good).
• technology- I don't know what I would do without it all- computers, internet, cell phones, or web sites/blogs that can show you how to do or make absolutely anything and everything- LOVE that!
• creature comforts
• cozy sweaters and blankets- and that it has finally been cold enough to need them!
• the blessing of health
• yummy thanksgiving food- especially pumpkin pie!
• and so very much more....
• for this time of year that gives us a moment to pause and reflect on our many blessings.

Happy Thanksgiving! 

(and the beginning of the most wonderful time of the year)

love this

A thanksgiving tree (I found this one at Room Service). A place to write down and display the things you, your family, friends, or whomever walks through your door are grateful for. Collect them and read them on Thanksgiving (READ: my MOST favorite holiday- family, friends, movies, yummy food, crazy games of spoons, just relaxing= heaven) or it would also make a wonderful Family Home Evening lesson.

I have so much to be grateful for, but I am not always perfectly focused on the positive things in life. I LOVE this time of year- from Halloween through the New Year- that helps us to stop and reflect on our abundant blessings. I can't wait to put together my own thanksgiving tree to help me in a visual, quantifiable way to "count my many blessings, and name them one by one."

i heart conference weekend

in our house general conference is staying in our pjs all day, making a yummy breakfast, watching (or at least trying) wonderful, uplifting messages from our church leaders, Avery getting excited about matching up the pictures on our board to the faces on the screen, beautiful music filling our home (and Finley trying her hand at conducting), daddy-daughter dancing time in between sessions, spending time together as a family- time that usually just passes us by on a "normal" weekend. LOVE it!

I especially enjoyed the piece on President Monson that was shown in between the morning and afternoon sessions both Saturday and today. I learned so much about him and my love and admiration for that dear man grew tenfold.

general relief society meeting

I LOVED this talk from the General Relief Society Broadcast last Saturday evening. I felt as is he was talking directly to me, which is funny because I know of many, many women who felt the same way. This leads me to believe that we as women are really more similar than we are different in our thoughts, struggles, and life experiences. If you didn't have a chance to see the broadcast, READ. IT. It was a really wonderful talk.

she is a sponge

Avery is a complete sponge right now. I hear her reciting lines from shows and singing songs she has heard. We love to listen to music in the car and at home- we dance and "rock out" as Avery likes to call it. I am personally notorious for listening to and singing along with music without paying attention to exactly what the words are actually SAYING. My brother always catches me and says- "do you have ANY idea what this song is about?" No, not usually, but I know I like the song, the tune, the beat. He will then explain, and it just ruins it for me. I know I should be more aware of what I listen to- especially when I have little impressionable ears listening along with me.

A few weeks ago, we were in the car listening to Sean Kingston's Beautiful Girls, which I thought was pretty harmless. My sister and I were belting it out and then all of a sudden, Avery joined it at "suicidal, suicidal." She continued to repeat that part of the song (and ONLY that part) all day long as she was playing quietly by herself or out and about. That was a eye opening moment for me. I quickly banned that song from our rock out sessions. Other moments recently have increased my awareness. We went into a store playing Gwen Stefani's Sweet Escape, and Avery was so excited and said loudly, "Hey mom, its our song." Or, my all time favorite Avery quote- after hearing Fergie's Big Girls' Don't Cry in a store she stated, actually it was more like yelled, "Yeah, mom, big girls don't cry when they go poo poo." "Yes, honey, that's right- big girl's don't cry when they go poo poo," I replied as quietly, as possible... I could feel several pairs of judgemental eyes bearing into the back of my head.

Even though we always download the CLEAN version with no swear words, I have come to realize that they can't really do much about cleaning up the message of the song by just taking out the "BAD" words. After much contemplation on this, I recently decided to only play primary songs in the car. Being the sponge that she is, Avery is soaking it all in and learning all the words to all of them. She sings them all day long (albeit a little off tune and with more than just a few wrong words) as she is coloring, or playing by herself. I feel MUCH better about Avery going around the house singing "I am a child of God" as opposed to "suicidal, suicidal." It has also done wonders for the spirit of love and peace in our home. It has been truly amazing! We still turn on a good "rock out" song every once in awhile for a living room dance party, but I make sure those songs are not the songs we are listening to most. A seemingly little thing can make a big difference- for good or bad. The world is incredibly crazy and these little ones are so impressionable... they can use all the help they can get- starting even now.

Nie Nie Day

I had not ever heard of Stephanie Nielson of NieNie Dialogues until I read THIS post on Kelly McCaleb's blog a couple of weeks ago. I was curious, so I clicked on the link to find out THIS news about the private plane crash Stephanie (nie), her husband, and a flight instructor had been involved in. My heart ached for them, for their families, and all the people that know them and love them. Reading her sister's blog and design mom, I found the outpouring of love and support for Stephanie and Christian to be just amazing! I started to read in the NieNie Dialogues archives to get a glimpse the life of someone who has seemingly touched so many. As I read, I began to see why she had so many supporters- her outlook on life, love, children, the gospel, and the way she put it all into action every day touched me. She shares great ideas, recipes, and her enthusiasm for life through her posts- I love, love, love this idea and plan to create a similar tradition in our family in honor of Nie! I am sure I will find many other wonderful ideas as I continue to search back in the NieNie archives. I know her influence has touched many others-several people I know (the blogging world is a VERY small one). Read Cheryl's tribute HERE, Kelly's HERE and April's HERE. I am so incredibly inspired by the way that everyone- family, friends, loyal blog readers, and strangers alike are rallying around Nie and her family.

My own testimony of Heavenly Father's love for each of us and His wonderful plan is strengthened as I read more about Stephanie, Christian, and how their family is responding to this trial (or opportunity for growth as they see it). I love THIS post by her sister that gives amazing perspective to this situation. Similarly, I have been amazed at strength, love, understanding, and hope displayed by the Leach/Dean family after their son/brother Jay was involved in a serious car accident. I am continually awed by the strength and comfort that Heavenly Father endows us with when we need it most. I am thankful.

The Nielson family has been (and will continue to be) in my prayers, in my thoughts, and I will definitely be participating this weekend in one (or more) of the MANY silent auctions listed HERE that will all benefit Stephanie and Christian's recovery fund. Kelly will be auctioning off some of her handmade goodies today as part of this effort- that is where I will be headed first! Then maybe over to Jenn Kirk's blog where she is auctioning off adorable custom notecards!

Tender Mercy

I need to write this down for my own benefit and this is the easiest place for me to do that...

We have all been so sick this past week- especially Finley. She has not let me put her down for even a minute without SCREAMING! I completely understand that she doesn’t feel good (she has a double ear infection, sore throat, and a horrible cough), but my patience has been wearing thin, none the less. Plus, Avery doesn’t feel good either, but my attention is so completely consumed by Finley that she is not getting the TLC she needs. So, the weekend SHOULD HAVE BEEN somewhat of a relief, to have Paul home and another set of hands around to help tend to the little sickos. Unfortunately, Paul was dealing with house stuff Saturday morning and then had to tend to church responsibilities and go to Santa Barbara all afternoon/night. He got home at midnight, had to be at the church Sunday by 7 a.m. for meetings, and won’t be home until 1:30 p.m. or so this afternoon. So, my usual weekend reprieve vanished before my eyes. Usually I am (or at least try REALLY hard to be) completely supportive of Paul in all of his duties and responsibilities, but yesterday I was just frustrated. I didn’t think I could make it through one more day cooped up in the house, tethered to runny noses, syringes of antibiotics (that get spit back in my face most of the time), and a near constant stream of tears. I did get a couple hours to myself, thanks to Gramma Lee, who came over and read stories, sang songs, and played with the girls while I just got out and drove around. I was quite renewed when I came home, but that only lasted a minute or two. Then the crying started up again. Nothing I could do seemed to settle Finley down; not even a little bit. Paul called to tell me they got down to Santa Barbara ok and see how we were doing. He could hear Finley screaming into the phone, so he knew the answer to his question…. I was just barely hanging on.

Now, here is my whole point in writing this…
While Finley was screaming, and I was barely maintaining my sanity, Avery was perfectly content in my room watching Ratatouille. I sat Finley down (you would have thought I had just set her on a bed of hot coals the way she was wailing) so that my bladder didn’t explode. I walked back into my room and found Avery asleep on my bed at 5:00 p.m.! Usually, a nap this late would have been a disaster! Avery would wake up cranky, yet refuse to go to bed and it would just be a struggle all night. This night however, Avery woke up (cranky) but asked to go to her bed and go to sleep. I put a pull- up diaper on her (we still use those only at night for precautionary measures- even though she continually wakes up dry), put her under the covers, kissed her, and shut the door (all while Finley was howling in the other room). I didn’t hear another peep out of Avery until the morning. Heavenly Father must have known that I was at my wits end and that I couldn’t deal with both of the girls screaming, crying, and whining at the same time (at least not today). So, He blessed me with the gift of a child that decided on her own to go to bed at 5 p.m. Finley kept me on my toes until 9 p.m. or so when she finally settled down, but I managed to hold on. Heavenly Father recognized and took care of my needs while Paul was away. I just needed to acknowledge that for myself, so I can look back at this the next time I feel this way.

In a talk given by Kathleen H. Hughes (First Counselor in the Relief Society General Presidency) titled Remembering the Lord’s Love, she says,

“There are times when you are fearful, when the stress and busyness of life seem
to overwhelm you, when you feel adrift from the Spirit. Perhaps you even feel as
though you have been abandoned. When I encounter those feelings, the best
antidote is my memory of the moments when Christ’s peace has come to strengthen
me.”

I am putting this memory in my pocket to pull out when I need to feel Heavenly Father’s love and peace again.

President Gordon B. Hinckley

Gordon B. Hinckley

06/23/1910 - 01/27/2008

Gordon B. Hinckley, prophet and president of the LDS church, passed away this past Sunday evening at the age of 97. I joined the church in 1997, just shortly after he began serving as president of the church. I have loved watching him, learning from him, and enjoying his sweet spirit as well as his keen sense of humor. He is an amazing man and I have been so uplifted to listen and take heed of his counsel over the past 10 years. I will miss him. But, I am so happy for him at the same time. He finally gets to rest! He is now with his sweetheart who left this earth life almost 4 years ago….he often spoke of how much he missed her. What a sweet reunion that must have been.

• HERE is a great compilation of quotes and teachings by President Hinckley that I found to be very uplifting (as posted by my friend Kelly McCaleb). I especially love the quote from Sister Hinckley at the end!

• Here is a tribute to President Hinckley by Glenn Beck that I found touching.
  
• 
  
• Following is a photo essay of the Hinckley's that I was sent in my email several months ago that shows President Hinckley's sweet spirit and a touch of his humor.
  

We Thank Thee O God For A Prophet

Photos and captions are by Scot Facer Proctor.

President Hinckley always uses his cane, just not much for walking. Accra, Ghana.

See what I mean. He was told to carry a cane and that's what he does - he carries it.Elder Russell M. Nelson is at far right. Accra, Ghana.

Not all of us have such a fancy pointing stick as President Hinckley. Kirtland Temple.

We marveled at the contrast of Joseph Smith's visit to the White House to meet with President Van Buren and President Hinckley's visit to the White House to receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest honor given a United States citizen.The White House, Washington, D.C.

President Hinckley said that "Sister Hinckley would have loved this event."The White House, Washington, D.C.

You just can't help breaking into a smile when you are around Gordon B. Hinckley. Kirtland Temple.

President Hinckley is patient with all the photographers who are constantly taking his picture. He did say to us one time, in a quiet tone, that "if all the cameras in the world were thrown into the ocean, there would be a great flood." Kirtland Temple.

Who can resist President Gordon B. Hinckley's warmth? Kirtland Temple.

President and Sister Hinckley were just the trademark of happiness in Ghana. No one could keep their eyes off of them. Their warmth was infectious. Their kind waves of the hand always made everyone feel loved. Accra, Ghana.

These two are love birds, no less. Kirtland, Ohio.

I'll never forget when President Hinckley invited his precious wife to the stand in Moscow and introduced her to the 2,000 present as his "Babushka.''It brought the house down - they loved it. Moscow, Russia.

When we first published it, one woman wrote to us and said,"If people don't believe Mormons are Christians, just have them look at this picture of Sister Marjorie Hinckley." I so agree. Nauvoo, Illinois.

How blessed we are to live during the administration and ministry of President Gordon B. Hinckley. Nauvoo, Illinois.