happy thanksgiving

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures. ~Thornton Wilder

I am grateful for SO much, but these 3 top my list.

Happy Thanksgiving!

N-I-N-E

Today marks 9 glorious, wonderful years that Paul and I have been married. We are closing in on the decade mark... crazy! I do love that we got married in 2000... it makes the math easy. It has been an adventure for sure. Nine years, seven moves, two college educations, countless road trips, lots of good times, a few trials, a major remodel, and three kids later we are still going strong!

*photo by Kelly McCaleb

Our celebration plans are as extensive as going out to dinner (we can be gone for 2 hours tops without bringing the baby along), and dreaming of our relaxing, kid-free vacation we are already starting to plan for our tenth next year! Happy day!

P.S. Paul went to work for a couple hours and then ended up surprising me by taking the rest of the day off! We took the girls to the pool then went out to dinner at Novo (love) while gramma lee stayed will all 3 of the girls. It was a perfect way to celebrate the day.

the many faces of finley

Since she was a baby, miss Finley has had the MOST expressive face. Her glowing smile can melt the hardest of hearts, her dirty looks are painful, her funny faces are hysterical, her puzzled look is a crack up... the list goes on. Her face is an open book- you can always tell how she is feeling, what she is thinking by her expression. One thing is for sure... like her shirt says, she is most definitely SASSY, though I lay no claim to the "just like mommy" part. She uses her vast repertoire to display defiance, sassiness, silliness, and a hint of sweetness everyday. I love it!

my heart swells...

at the sight of my 3 girls snuggling together in their jammies every morning.

Avery and Finley are so excited to see Emerson after a long night of sleep. The first things Finley asks when I get her out of her crib are "Where's Avery, where's baby Emerson?! Get me down!," and runs off to find her sisters. It is only a few minutes before they start attacking each other and the baby starts fussing from being man-handled; but while it lasts, the moment is blissful and makes my heart explode with love for these 3 precious girls... enough to carry me through our crazy days!

there is nothing i would rather do

I am in the throws of life with a newborn (I am currently covered in spit up, remnants of a blow-out, and urine ...Emerson peed all over me as I was getting her out of the bath which I gave her after the aforementioned blow-out). Life is a little crazy. The older 2 (especially Avery) have been climbing the walls and driving me bananas. They constantly want to hold the baby, be in her face, wake her up when she is sleeping, and just be wherever she is (which is usually on me). As difficult as this time is, I am reminded by one of my favorite quotes by President Thomas S. Monson, that it goes by in an instant.

"Be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly."-Thomas S. Monson

I know I WILL look back at this time, all too soon, wishing it would have lasted. Wishing they would stay little, WANTING to cuddle, saying cute things, laughing out loud, chasing each other through the house, climbing the walls, demanding attention, making messes everywhere, and creating mounds of laundry for me to do. I TRY to keep that in mind as I go through my days in a fog from lack of sleep, as I strive to stay on top of everything (even though lately it feels like I am doing all I can to make sure the children are alive and the house is still standing at the end of the day), and as I am pulled in a dozen different directions by multiple sets of little hands, requests, whimpers, and cries. Some days I am more successful at keeping things in perspective than other days. However, even on the very worst of days, I am so grateful for the blessing and opportunity to be a mother... to be THEIR mother... to be entrusted with these three beautiful little girls and their uniquely individual spirits. There is nothing I would rather be doing than being home with them (pulling my hair out at times), caring for them, loving them, teaching them, and watching them grow.

This mother's day I am so grateful for my own mother who (even in spite of less than ideal conditions/situations) made sure we knew we were so very loved and that we were always most important in her eyes-ahead of work or any other obligations. I hope I can give own children that same assurance. NOTHING is more important to me than their safety, happiness, and well-being.

I am also grateful for all of the grandmothers (Gramma Lee, Ya Ya, Nonni) and other women in my life (Tiffany, Mary, Mary, and wonderful friends) who are an example to me, that love my children, and will help me in my effort to raise strong, loving, capable women.

To all of you I wish you a very Happy Mother's Day!

she's here!

Emerson Bailey White made her entrance into the world, into our family, and stole our hearts on Friday April 24, 2009 at 8:40 p.m. She weighed in at 7 lbs. 5 oz. and "officially" measured 20 inches long (the nurse recorded her length as 18.5 inches because she refused... even after it was suggested several times... to straighten Emerson's leg out of the fetal position. Our official measurement was done by our own resident doctor, a.k.a. poppi, after we got home).


I am pretty sure my doctor realized that changing the plan on me at the last minute was a cruel thing to do. So, at my appointment on Thursday, after determining that things were already progressing on their own he set up to meet us at the hospital the next morning to break my water. I did have contractions through the night, but nothing "organized". So, we were at the hospital at 10 a.m. Friday as scheduled. Even after the doctor broke my water, things progressed slowly. I was BORED out of my mind. I was calling home to have them bring games, magazines, or an iphone- though no one was willing to part with theirs.

About 4 p.m., we started on a low dose of pitocin which finally got things going. I got the epidural about 5:30 p.m., which slowed progress a little. Delivery still seemed a ways off at 8:00 p.m., and Paul was starving so he decided to go out and grab a bite to eat with my brother before everything closed. My mom was there and Gilen was visiting (bringing me a fresh stack of magazines), so I was not alone. While Paul was gone, the nurse came in to adjust the baby's heart monitor. She couldn't find the baby because she was still "too high" and moving around too much- she said. She needed to put an internal monitor on the baby. I mentioned I was feeling a lot of pressure and all though it seemed unlikely, I would say the baby was low and I was just about ready to push. The nurse checked and sure enough, I was right! She paged the nurses station for them to get Dr. Safarik there ASAP. He was at home about 20 minutes away. Gilen called Paul, who was in line to order food, and told him to get back to the hospital. Then all the hustle and bustle broke out- nurses running everywhere trying to get things ready. Paul returned shortly and then we just had to wait for Dr. Safarik to arrive- I had to try really hard not to have the baby before he got there. My family turned into a bunch of comedians, making me laugh, which really didn't help matters.

When Dr. Safarik ran in, we were all ready to go. All it took was 3 easy pushes and Emerson was here! We went from 0 to baby in 10 hours! Quite a contrast to the 24 hours of labor, 3 1/2 hours of pushing, and the use of a vacuum extractor that was employed with Avery! It was even an improvement over the 20 minutes of pushing required with Finley (which at the time I thought was GREAT!). I guess with each child it gets faster and easier! IF there is a next time, we might be in trouble!

We went home Saturday evening- after Paul got done with his golf tournament. Yeah, he played in a golf tournament the day after having a baby, while I sat in the hospital. I agreed to it when we were going to be having the baby on Thursday, we would be home Friday and I would have family in town to help while he played. We still did have family around, so it wasn't that big of a deal. The girls were well taken care of and I was never alone either- my mom kept me in good company. It was just the last few hours that were frustrating. The day before I delivered there was a big baby rush, so the mother baby unit was full after I had Emerson. They kept me upstairs on the labor and delivery floor instead of moving us downstairs. But, Saturday afternoon, the labor and delivery unit was filling up again, so they moved us downstairs to wait until Paul came to get us. Because they knew we were going home, they just put us in a back room and left us to ourselves. I think the nurse checked on us once. I felt like we were just being babysat. That is when I started to resent the fact that Paul was off playing golf. Otherwise, I really would have been fine with it.

Since being home, we have just been getting settled in, trying to get used to 3. The girls are LOVING their new little sister. They want to hold her ALL. THE. TIME. Both Avery and Finley are such good BIG sisters. Avery is such a little mama- telling and showing Finley how to be gentle, how to hold Emerson, and just bossing Finley around (sometimes it gets a little out of control). Finley is my sweet little helper- she gets diapers, throws diapers away, brings me blankets and binkies, always with a smile. They are both so concerned with the baby. It is so very sweet.

Emerson had a rough night the first night we were home, but since has done great. She is nursing like a champ, filling diapers like a champ (which is a completely foreign phenomenon in our house), sleeping well, and just being an overall good baby. Paul is wondering when the shoe is going to drop- when are the sleepless nights going to return?! I think the trial in this is the fact that the other girls are constantly crawling on me, touching the baby, and just wanting more of the attention that has been diverted away from them. It will be a challenge- especially after my mom goes home. But, overall we are adjusting well to our newly expanded little family.

Welcome to the world baby Emerson! We love you!