...my heart beats fast, my stomach ties in knots, I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I just can't focus on anything else. I think I can trace this phenomenon back to my days of bouncing back and forth between mom's house and dad's house (which my brothers and I did for the majority of my growing up years). It was always so difficult to say goodbye... I dreaded it. I was usually fine once we were out the door and on our way- just the leading up to and the actual act of saying goodbye caused me such terrible angst. In the past few days I had to say goodbye to my sister who had been visiting for spring break and then to Paul as he left for 4 short days to go to an appraisal conference in Utah. I found that I still react the same way leading up to a goodbye... in both situations I couldn't sleep the night before, I lost my appetite, I was walking around in a daze all day, my stomach was in knots, and my heart raced. Once they were each out of sight, I was ok. I understand if it were going to be a long separation, but all this over a quick little trip? I really am ok with Paul away- we are managing just fine (with the exception of the 5 o'clock witching hour- the girls are ready for a new face about that time every day and right now there isn't one walking through the door at 6. But, shortly after the melt down is bedtime- then I can breathe and we are good again.). So, apparently my anxiety is over the actual act of saying goodbye and not necessarily the separation. Does anyone else react this way, or am I just crazy!?
5 comments:
Ohhhh! I understand completely. I did the whole, growing up in 2 homes. In the past 4 years of marriage we have spent 4 nights apart. They were 4 rough nights, I don't handle the separation well AT ALL! Hang in there....
Yup, I hate goodbyes. But everyone already knows I'm socially inept so I can get away with just a wave bye, turn my back, and ruthlessly cut the goodbye short. I HATE driving people to the airport for that reason. I even sat on my grandma for an hour when I was a kid to make her stay longer. I'm not so bad with people I know I'll see again shortly.
I think parents can play a big roll in how we feel when we say goodbye to someone. I luckily had parents that made it no big deal, so to me, it's not a big deal when someone leaves. Will's been gone from home for 3 weeks at a time before, no stress with him leaving (only moving from CA to UT with out him that caused the angst). I've never had a problem with it. I count myself lucky! Maybe I've got an issue with needing my own space. :) Call if you want to hang out while he's gone!
ooo yes yes yes. its funny, garrett and i did long distance for a good year - full year - and it was fine. but now that we're married, evven if he's gone for 3 nights for work, i find myself sooo lonely and sad! funny how that works.
no not crazy, i react the same, to the actual act but then i'm fine once it's over...
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